The everyday life of a parent
Often time in life, we get the distinct Blessing to “start over”. A “do over”. These are often preceded by times of uncertainty. Periods where we are forced to grow, because we have to “let go”. Yet, with every ending… ultimately there is a new beginning.
Just “BEGIN AGAIN”.
It’s that simple.
Sincerely,
@EfabulousHB for
@TwoDopeMoms
#BeginAgain
#DoOver
#TimeToStartNow
By @egeorgeperry “May you find your center this year and #win!” via @photorepost_app #life
I hadn’t wore my Nike Air football jacket since winter 2011. In Winter 2011, due to my depression, I spent a lot of time in that jacket fantasizing that things would get better and our little family would be okay. It never happened. He left me in April / May 2012. We divorced in April 2013. Fast forward to winter 2013; Yesterday, I wore my jacket and I came home in tears really despondent. I felt a paper in my inside pocket. It was this note from my ex-husband… “I love you”. It was like the notes he used to write me when I first moved to England, when we were inseparable and learning to love each other. I saw this note yesterday, I broke down and cried for hours, alone. I held my jacket tightly with the note in it and laid in my kid’s bed. I guess it was a deep, mourning of the past forever gone… I had to release. I was cuddling the death of the my greatest romance, I was cuddling my past as if to finally say goodbye and I was sad that our relationship was so bad that I never saw this note. What was most ironic is he put it on the inside pocket and that pocket sits next to my heart in my jacket. I want to thank my ex-husband for writing me that note because yesterday I felt alone, abandoned and sick with emotions and even two years and one divorce later… His beautiful little note made me feel LOVED. He still managed to make me feel special and to pierce my heart with a kindness. Thank you Neville, God Bless you old friend! #MommyFab #TwoDopeMoms #Efabulous1 #LOVE #divorce #life
Indeed
This was a very beautiful and sweet note those months winding down to the birth of your babe. I can remember laying in the bed with my hands around my stomach, because that’s the only way I felt my daughter could feel me hug and hold her. Being a mom is a very big feeling of love and wholeness.
The first thing I said to my daughter was…. Hey! It’s great to finally see you, girl. I’ve been waiting! Mommy loves you! … then they took her to the scale to be weighed.
I have this remix… on vinyl. Lovers of vinyl and music, unite. Says djefabulous aka @Efabulous1
Home
“New York is where I was happiest. It is where my heart is…”
@efabulous1
The one thing about adulthood is that you get to live by your own rules, you set the standard and tone for your home. Leave a pillow on the floor, be imperfect and perfectly happy. Perfection is a joke, we are all humans. …. Which means on a human level perfection is impossible.
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So I’m getting a divorce. …and we will leave it at that for details. LOL! Yet, I found myself back tracking over my entire life. Then with some stellar counseling and some awesome friends I am encouraged to know that you cannot change the past and we don’t know much about life until we live it…. so focus on the future and keep on living. I woke up today with that on my mind and things seem to click. I seemed to feel better about all that was around me because I’m actually a pretty lucky girl. I have an awesome daughter, fabulous friends, dynamic family, gainfully employed and I can PIN like nobody’s business. Life is good.
So yes, we get knocked down with twist and turns, bumps and bruises…. but you had no idea it was coming and now that you’ve over the hump… keep living.
It is wonderful. Water. I am actually blogging from the beach. Being here has made me feel whole and alive. Maybe because I am a Pisces… Or maybe I just need to be healed. I am here at the sea and I feel overcome with hope and happiness. It has also made me realize I have been missing out on living … I have been existing in a large vacuum for too long. There is a great element of God and spirituality in the water… And I welcome the chance to be renewed.
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Today seemed excruciating. The world seemed to have spun lowly on it’s axis. I shutter.
..then cue the daughter.
I was sitting drink tea in the library, she comes in and suggests we use coasters. Clever girl.
Then she goes through every piece of artwork she made for me in the past year.
Each piece she made, she made with love and it was like magic having her go through each piece….
It was like music to my ears to hear…and what I made next…
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Tonight I am grateful for:
-the ability to write and touch people
-my beautiful daughter and her amazing hugs
-being able to reflect and appreciate my Blessings
-gadgets
-my dog Jessie
-“the ability to keep fighting”
It’s raining and I am sitting on the back porch enjoying the storm. There is something heavenly in the sound of rain, the feel of water and witnessing mother nature at her best. A beautiful calm has come over me, like the rain metaphysically washes the stress of life away. Each drop of water you hear chips away at your subconscious burdens and washes your soul until its renewed. I love the water, the rain, the breeze … Let the rain cometh! I will smile and let it wash my soul.
This totally hit home for me. I found this on yogaandsoul.com. (Thanks Rashunda!)
Remember… You are great!
TwoDopeMoms 